Table of Contents

👤 What is People Pleasing?

👤 Why Do I Do This?

👤 How Can I Help Myself?

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

🔖 Read Something Else?

⏰ Sources Cited

A few thoughts from the past few months

People pleasing is a disease. It makes me SICK to continue to please others when I am hurting. It physically hurts me to push myself down to raise someone else up. I hate feeling empty after giving up another piece of myself to fill another person.

Are the people PLEASED after I’ve done this? Are all the people happy now?

NO?!

What do you mean NO!!! I gave up EVERYTHING, why are they still upset?

Why am I doing this? I don’t WANT to be doing this? Why are their feelings more valid than mine? Why do I feel so alone?

Surprise! No one’s Happy! No one WANTS you to do things outside your comfort zone! No one wants to feel like a burden on you - push you past what you’re capable of! IF they do want that, then they aren’t a good person for you.

👤 What is People Pleasing?

People pleasing is the need to put others feelings before your own. It defines a person who suffers from low self-worth, undermines their own needs, rarely says no, takes the blame when it wasn’t their fault, and makes excuses for the faults of others (Ma, 2026).

Sound familiar?

Empathy is a double-edged sword. We feel deeply for others at our own detriment. We rarely say no to others because we don’t like the discomfort. We put others before ourselves because we are afraid of “consequences”.

What are these consequences, you ask?

Oh, y’know, just the hate and disgust from everyone else. The fear of rejection - not being accepted by others because I didn’t put their needs first. Oh, can’t forget the pain of being forgotten too! Rejected AND forgotten, whodathunk?

Don’t worry you don’t need to feel that way forever!

👤 Why Do I Do This?

Hi, I’m a recovering people-pleaser. I’m try to not put others emotions before my own anymore. I was drowning in other people’s sorrows, but they weren’t mine. I was seeking approval from people who weren’t worth my time. I valued myself so little that I let them dictate my every move.

I’m conflict avoidant - fighting has always been scary to me. Speaking back as a child was seen as bad thing. I do this because I value other people over myself. I give into their whims above my own. Their hardship is more important than mine?

Right?

WRONG!

Your struggles are valid. Your emotions are valid. If you don’t want to do something, guess what? YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT! Stop pushing yourself to fill others cups while emptying your own. If someone is giving you shit for not listening to them, then they aren’t meant for your life.

Stop giving people the room to hurt you. Stop letting yourself be the second-lead, YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER! You are the one writing the story - do you want to spend your whole life living according to other people?

👤 How Can I Help Myself?

Okay, I’m being a little harsh. People pleasing is a disease. It takes time to unlearn. It took until 28 to admit that I do this and now it’s taken a full year to unlearn the habits. We know what drives people pleasing, but how do I help it?

We have to define who we are as a person before we create boundaries. Who are you? What do you enjoy? What don’t you enjoy? What areas of life bring you peace, and what disturbs that peace? Once you figure out who you are, you can address your needs in every relationship.

Sounds easy right? I’ve found setting boundaries to be scary BUT necessary. It’s how we tell other people how to treat us. If someone is stepping on your toes, SCREAM OW to get them to stop! You have to teach them how to treat you, which includes setting your boundaries.

What makes you fall into your people pleasing habits? Are you avoiding a fight? Taking the blame when it wasn’t your fault? What about not saying NO when you want to? These are all signs your falling back into the habit!

Is this 100% fool proof? Absolutely NOT. Is this something we have to work towards for a long time? Yeah. There is no cure-all. People-pleasing is rooting in having a low self-worth. You have to build your worth and that takes time. Learning to like yourself and treat yourself as a person of value will help you stop people-pleasing.

Thanks for reading today’s essay Cafe! People pleasing is something that’s affected me my whole life. Girls are conditioned to people-please, especially Eldest Daughters - I could probably write a whole BOOK on it!

I wanted to talk about my experience with People Pleasing and I hope this shed some light as to why one may fall into the habit. There’s a reason I wrote it as “Liking” yourself instead of Loving. When you’re battling a lower self-esteem, the last thing you want to hear is “love yourself” because that just sounds impossible. You view yourself as someone who doesn’t deserve love because they are “making it harder for everyone else by not just saying yes”. That is totally not true. You DO deserve love, but learning acceptance and liking yourself comes first.

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

First essay of June! I hope you enjoyed it! Look forward to the next two essays!

Support the Cafe!

🔖 Read Something Else?

⏰ Sources Cited

Ma, L. (2026). People-pleasing. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/people-pleasing

For now, we’ll call it: Timelines Part 1!

Table of Contents

🕛 Timelines

🕒 Why Do We Follow Them

🕕 So What You’re Not “Accomplished”, What’s the Big Deal?

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

🔖 Read Something Else?

⏰ Sources Cited

🕛 Timelines

Timeline: a schedule of planned events, actions (Merriam-Webster, n.d.). Everyone is on a timeline. You start at birth, make your way through life, and then death. Such is the natural order. That middle part though - make your way through life - can mean many different things. One person will go to space while the other will become a doctor. Some will work in cafeterias and others will rule the country. Everyone’s timeline is different so why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to fit the societal standard? Why is the standard the only option for us?

Even our own daily schedules are matched up against each other. The ‘5-9 before my 9-5’ trend should die. That reality only works for some people. I’d love for my workdays to start at 9, unfortunately I’m here at 7:30. Yes, that gives me more time in the afternoon, where I have to rush home then rush to the gym. Then come home exhausted to cook and do chores. Oh, and don’t forget I have to get 8 hours of sleep or else you’re not adulting right? But if I don’t do it right, am I even an adult? If I don’t follow this timeline, does that mean my struggle isn’t real?

🕒 Why Do We Follow Them

Where did this standard even come from? Did you know there’s an actual term for timelines? It’s called the Societal Clock. What does that mean? Basically, it’s the cultural timeline for “important” social milestones. This includes education, employment, marriage, and children. (Ntara, 2026)

So basically - our ancestors set the system up. You had to have an education (whether books or trade), you had to have a job (that came from getting a good education in books or trade), have an active social life to find a partner, who you then have children with to carry onto the next generation.

Not too bad. Except, we don’t really live in those times anymore. Furthering education through traditional routes is becoming harder and harder. Employment is going down thanks to jobs automating them. Marriage - have you SEEN the dating pool? Everyone’s out here to have fun, not settle down. Children have become a “luxury, few can afford”. Cause honestly, we’re being outpriced.

Why should I feel like a failure for not reaching certain goals? Why does my life need to be measured up against an antiquated system. We should learn to adapt and create new “norms”. Because what was once normal is now unattainable.

🕕 So What You’re Not “Accomplished”, What’s the Big Deal?

Except I AM! I may not have followed a traditional timeline, but I’ve got a lot on my trophy shelf too! I did go to college; I do have a job. Maybe not a career - but that’s a different story. And the funny part is - I KNOW I’m not the only one. I’m not the only one upset I’m getting asked

“Oh, when are you getting married?”

“Oh, when are you having kids?”

“Got any career plans?”

I might not be EXACTLY where I want to be in life, but DON’T make me feel like shit because I’m not where YOU want me to be. I will get to where I’m getting, IN MY OWN TIME. I need to make the decisions. I need to be the one in charge, because in truth, this is MY LIFE.

The purpose of this article was to say “Don’t Count the Non-Trads out”. There’s MANY paths to success! You’re not going to look at a Plumber and be ungrateful when your sink is broken! You’re not going to be mad when the Garbage comes around - these jobs are NECESSARY.

You have people who have:

Gone to school their WHOLE lives and maybe they just have a JOB AND THAT’S OKAY!

Who have been in relationships for years and aren’t married yet AND THATS OKAY!

Who have NEVER been interesting in having kids AND THATS OKAY!

And if those ARE things you want? THATS OKAY TOO!

My whole point is - stop making me feel less than because I’m not married and I don’t have kids. I don’t know what my future holds, but the pressure I feel from others because I’m getting closer to 30 isn’t okay. I don’t have an expiration date as a woman. I won’t be yesterday’s news the SECOND I hit 30.

Life is going to continue on. And the Societal Contract needs to adapt to this new generation. We are pushing back the age in which we get married and have kids for good reasons. Our economy isn’t the best, jobs are hard to come by. More and more people are leaving the nest later in life because the system is not working in our favor. We’re having a harder time talking to one another; building relationships with a screen is easier than with another person. Our education has never costed SO much; people are drowning in debt for far longer than they should be.

We should not hold ourselves to standards that can no longer be easily accomplished. Some of them are just not what we want out of life - does that mean we are unaccomplished? If we choose an alternate path, does that make the work we’re doing less important?

It’s time we stop listening for a broken clock. It’s time we start living by our OWN value and worth. Only we know what we want out of our lives. Society will not tell me I am not accomplished because I am not married or have a kid. Timelines are stupid and it’s time we start living life.

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

Last week of May! A new schedule will be released on Thursday, May 28th!

Thursday, May 28th: May’s Flowers

Thanks for visiting the Cafe! Today’s essay has been on my mind for a while - it nearly ended up in Not Your Average Joe as I have a LOT of research into the Societal Clock concept. It’s an interesting thing - the way we live our lives has kind of been mapped out for centuries. Even though, we as humans, have changed so much throughout history, the few main objectives have stayed the same in marriage, home, kids, career. Perhaps I’ll write more about it in the future. If you liked today’s topic, please leave a comment.

Do YOU think Timelines are Stupid?

Leave a comment

If you’d like to support, visit our Ko-Fi shop! Let me know in the comments what you think about the limit!

Support the Cafe!

🔖 Read Something Else

⏰ Sources Cited

Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Timeline. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved January 12, 2026, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/timeline

Ntara, C. (2026). Social Clock | Definition, Origin & Impact - lesson | study.com. https://study.com/academy/lesson/the-social-clock-definition-theory.html

Table of Contents

🛑 What’s a Limit?

🛑 Are You Pushing Yourself to the Limit?

🛑 Is There a Way to Help Myself?

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

🧾 Read Something Else?

I’ve not been in the best headspace for a while. I’m pushing through, meeting deadlines, and yet I feel drained. Looking back - I think I rushed into this next chapter. Or did I? Did I not wait for years to find my next idea? What about the ideas I’ve wanted to write - why aren’t they good enough? Personal essays, journal excerpts - that’s all I can seem to handle right now.

Steam. I’m running out of steam. I’m sleeping, but it’s not restful. I’m waking up and running out the door - why? Nothing is that urgent.

Stop. Take a breath. No one needs you that badly. You don’t deal with life and death situations; you can stop for a minute. Slow down.

Slow down. Your body is breaking. You’re the glue that holds the family together. What happened to going out with your friends? Don’t forget you have to go to the gym this week! Oh, and your creative strides you’ve been making - yeah, we’re taking the energy from there.

That’s just a GLIMPSE into my mind for the past two months. There’s been so much change, full charge ahead, and yet? I feel like nothing’s changed. I’m exhausted, pulling from a reservoir that’s gone empty long ago.

How do I even manage to fill that up?

🛑 What’s a Limit?

The limit is what you set for yourself. It restrains or confines you. It holds you back from hitting that next step - whether in self-preservation or disbelief.

Why do Limits exist?

Limits exist for 2 reasons:

⛔ Baseline We’re Restricted To

⛔ What We Can Move Past

Okay that sounds contradictory - how can it be a baseline we’re restricted to AND something we can move past?

I’m going to break it down like this:

Baseline we’re restricted to: Something that if we passed THIS limit, we’d be in serious trouble, like our bodies and minds would take a CRITICAL hit.

What we can move past: Some limits are just things that need to be broken - for example writers block OR art block. Yes, those are two VERY upsetting things to deal with, BUT there are ways to bring BACK your creativity.

Limits affect us in many ways - physically, emotionally, and mentally. We can’t push past something if we have no energy to do it. We become restricted when our brains are full of doubts. The limits make the walls close in on us. Limits keep us trapped in that room, unable to move.

🛑 Are You Pushing Yourself to the Limit?

Yes. I think the limit was eons ago, behind closed doors, in a home that is no longer accessible. The limit was left and I just kept going - not looking back. I look at my life and wait for the next burst of inspiration.

I hit my baseline limit in my everyday life. Having a TIGHT schedule, I left no room for creativity and spontaneity. As someone who’s lived faithfully by a schedule my whole life, I will say that losing that stability caused my brain to go haywire.

What caused me to hit my limit? Pressure.

I put too much pressure on myself to be perfect. I had to be the top student, the helpful daughter, the one who everyone leans on. After a while, I sort of just… broke.

It’s taken a lot for me to push past that limit. I had to stop and rest and re-evaluate my life. I set up a new schedule. I tried to follow through, but my emotional limit was SPENT. I had no energy to try anymore.

That was until I started following these rules:

🛑 Is There a Way to Help Myself?

I set up new rules for my life when I did an overhaul nearly a year ago. I was no longer going to sit around and let life pass me by. Doing these things helped me reset my baseline and now I’m pushing past my limits!

✏️ Using journal prompts helps get me into the writing mood. Even two or three sentences is enough to get my brain working again.

📚 Reading has been helpful. It’s an escape from the real world for a bit. I love being thrown into stories where the characters are up against some major villain - it makes my real life anxiety ease for a while. Like, my life is bad, but at least I’m not facing a Dragon!

📅 Scheduling my posts has taken a weight off my shoulders. Instead of worrying what to write each week, I have an idea of XYZ should be posted because I talked about ABC earlier. It’s a cohesive way to organize my brain.

The two most important ways I’ve helped myself when I hit the Limit are:

🛏️ Letting myself REST

🏃🏾‍♀️ Pushing myself to MOVE

Again - two very different ideas! Why do I rest sometimes and force myself to move in other ways?

Resting is NOT a sin guys. Some days you PHYSICALLY can NOT move. You can’t get your brain to work. Everything seems to go wrong. Those days? Yeah, just take a break. Nothing is worse than pushing through on days you need a break. Your work can wait; your ideas won’t fade away. Just take a minute, get some good food, sit down, and breathe.

Now, there ARE times where you need to move. Say you get stuck on a concept for art. You’ve tried time and time again, yet you’re still getting stuck making it the way you want. Sometimes, it’s easier to take the option where you go around the problem. You’re stuck on making the background? Well, today you’re going to draw characters! You don’t know how to end an essay? Today, you’re gonna write some intros. Steps like this help build momentum to push you through your limit. By working with your strengths, you won’t fear the failure of the limit and will be able to move through it quicker.

Also, Physical Movement guys. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it actually works. Sometimes, it just takes you physically away from the problem for a little while, which is nice. Other times, you need some sun and some fresh air.

Limits exist to tell us where to slow down and where to speed up. Taking a break doesn’t mean failure, you’re merely regrouping until you can fight again. You’re checking your strategies, going through the motions until you’re able to fight.

Following what works best for you - that’s the only way to confront a limit. You can either rest or you can push forward, but finding your balance is something that’ll take time!

The limit is there to help us re-evaluate. If you need to pause and rest, do it. If you want to work around the limit, do it. There is no right or wrong way to approach it. Pushing yourself to the Limit shows you where your boundaries are and areas you can grow in. Limits not something to be afraid of, they’re something to work with.

Thanks for visiting the Cafe! Not a long essay today - we’re counting down to the end of the school year! Which means my job has become CHAOS! Hopefully it’ll calm down soon enough so I can write longer!

Leave a comment

If you’d like to support, visit our Ko-Fi shop! Let me know in the comments what you think about the limit!

Support the Cafe!

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

Only 1 more week in May! We have 2 more essays before the month ends! A new schedule will be released on Thursday, May 28th!

Tuesday, May 26th: Let’s Give This a Chai

Thursday, May 28th: I’ve Bean Busy!

🧾 Read Something Else?

Read Something Else

Table of Contents

❤️‍🩹 Letter to Myself

❤️‍🩹 Why’d I Write This?

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

❤️‍🩹 Letter to Myself

Being friends with a pessimist is hard. Please stop telling me about how shitty everything is. Stop telling me nothing is going to work out. That there’s no point in trying. Stop telling me how upset you are that the odds are high - not impossible just high.

Pessimist is not the way. It drives me insane how you always choose to look at something and point out its flaws. You can never be 100% in - can never give a genuine compliment because somewhere in your mind is a flaw.

That says more about you than me. I can actually see the good. I can put aside the flaws and see something good. Sure, too much positivity is bad too, but oh my God, not everything is on fire. There are some good moments in life too - let me celebrate them.

Its tiring being the one who’s gotta stay upbeat. But if I don’t do it, you’ll pull us both down. If I allow you to get into my head, the light will never turn back on. I’ve worked too HARD to become someone who can stay upbeat.

So what if I have optimism? So what if I’m choosing to see the good in everything? I also went through dark times. It’s harder to choose the light than it is the dark. I choose to be optimistic because life’s already tough. Why tf would I bet against myself and not choose me? If all else fails, all that’s left is me.

Do you know how HARD it is - to stay optimistic? I see the world burning down around me, you don’t know the amount of STRENGTH it’s taking to stay positive. You know how hard it’s been for me lately, why are you trying to keep me down? Is it because YOU don’t want to grow? You like staying at the bottom of a well, tears surrounding you. I don’t want to be my case.

Bro, I am a MF DANDELION. I will grow where you say I can’t. I will thrive in the harsh conditions because guess what? NOTHING CAN STOP ME! So YES, I’ll continue with my optimism. YES, I’ll continue to see the good in things. YES, I’m going to keep trying because staying sad HURTS. Looking at all the negative hurts. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to be okay now.

Something can go wrong; I’ll admit to that. But things can also go RIGHT. There is an equal chance something might actually work out WELL for you too!

Don’t you feel tired being a Pessimist? Doesn’t your body feel drained or on edge all the time? You’re choosing the easy option you know that right? It’s so EASY to be pessimistic. Sorry, I like a challenge. I’ll keep looking at the flames and I will come out the other side.

❤️‍🩹Why’d I Write This?

Thanks for reading Cafe! This was my late-night rambling into my journal. I decided to edit it for others to read because honestly, I think it’s easy to fall down a Pessimistic path.

This was a letter to me. I’m broken in two - the Pessimist, doesn’t see a reason to be okay, and the Optimist, the one who wants to heal. Each side is playing tug-of-war with me stuck in the middle. Yes, the world is on fire. Yes, the future looks bleak. But there are MANY things we can still be grateful for. There are so many good things that happen every day, every month - in times like this, we need to not forget the good things.

This is an explanation for my monthly wins post. Struggling with Depression, it’s been hard to pinpoint what’s being going GOOD for me. The monthly wins I post every month has been an accountability for me - see the world isn’t AS bad you’re thinking.

If you’re struggling to see the other side, try writing your wins of the day down. At least 1 thing must’ve been good to add to the list. A really good sandwich; you got up to shower. You saw your favorite show; a dog video made you smile.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

UPDATE: No Every Mug Tells a Story this month - sorry I’m not in the best headspace to annotate and review a book. Instead, I’ll deliver 2 personal essays and the monthly review!

Thursday, May 21st: Let’s Give This a Chai

Tuesday, May 26th: Let’s Give This a Chai

Thursday, May 28th: I’ve Bean Busy

Thank you for visiting the Cafe today. Let me know in the comments if there’s something you’re avoiding and something you need to release!

Support the Cafe!

Leave a comment

Read Something Else!

Journal prompts are the best way I can keep writing without hurting my brain too much. They help me think and really make me look inwards at what’s causing the writing blockage. Today’s essay will be TWO journal prompts from Love Letters to Literature!

Love letters to literature

May Journal Prompts: The Things You’ve Been Avoiding

3rd May, 2026…

Read more

a month ago · 472 likes · 5 comments · Thee Book Club

Table of Contents

❤️‍🩹 What am I currently avoiding, and why?

❤️‍🩹 What am I holding onto that I need to Release?

❤️‍🩹 Why did I choose these two topics?

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

❤️‍🩹 What am I currently Avoiding, and Why?

Looking in the mirror.

I don’t like what I see.

I don’t like seeing the failure on my face. I don’t like seeing the years reflected on my skin. The potential gone to waste. The promises never fulfilled.

I’m covering the mirror because then I’ll never have to admit I didn’t make myself proud. How could I - I gave up on my dream?

Did I though? Was it my dream or someone else’s? Was I just a character - collecting achievements to make others proud?

What if this new adventure doesn’t work out? What if I don’t make it writing - what if I’m really just subpar? Would this all have been for nothing?

So why am I avoiding it?

Avoidance and Anxiety - I avoid it all because I’m afraid. I’m anxious at the thought of moving forward but also exhausted from staying stagnant. The dreams I never saw come to light are now my nightmares, haunting me in the daylight. I avoid because I know if I look at the mirror and see a broken version of me - I won’t want to continue. I’d want to sink down and sob. Become part of the furniture and never leave the room.

I wrote about it in What Do I Want From Me? The shame in the failure, the lack of will to do anything else. But - that’s been changing recently. I’m slowly picking up the pieces of me left behind. I’m constructing a new dream. When I finally look into that mirror, I will like what I see, because it will be ME.

❤️‍🩹 What am I holding onto that I need to Release?

Pain.

There’s so much pain.

Resentment.

For who I was supposed to be.

Why did I hold on SO long to a dream I couldn’t complete? Why did I try and be my parent’s perfect daughter? I broke so much - there’s so much tape holding me together.

Instead of healing the cracks in my soul, I’ve filled them with negativity - rotting from the inside out. Instead of letting myself take a break, I had to be the one who held it together. I can’t hold it together anymore.

I need to let go of this idea that I must be perfect. I am not perfect. I can’t be at level 100 when I haven’t even opened the learning manual. Things take time to learn. I need to let go of the perfection.

It’s okay that I’m not where I want to be. The newer version needs to understand; I am a work in progress. I am here to learn. I am here to fail.

Failure isn’t scary - it’s proof of growth. I’d rather be a person who grew than a person who stayed stagnant. I need to release the fear of failure. I need to release the fear of being seen. I have to let go of the pain and resentment for not becoming the person everyone wanted me to be. My life is my own story to write - no one knows better than me. If that means being seen trying, then I’ll have to be seen trying. I’ll have to be vulnerable. I’ll have to be scared because nothing is worse than never trying at all.

❤️‍🩹 Why did I choose these two topics?

What do I need to release and what I’m avoiding - these questions are on the same coin. I know what I’m avoiding, and I need to release the negative feelings surrounding it so I can grow.

There’s a lot going on in my head recently. When I feel like I finally figure out LIFE, something gets thrown at me. How I respond shows what kind of person I’m growing into. Am I going to avoid the problem, like I have in the past? Or am I finally going to face it?

Truth be told - I’m scared of the things I avoided. To be an ostrich, with my head in the sand - that’s the life I’ve been living. One where anxiety took the wheel, and I was thrown in the back of the van. I know what I need to release in order to move forward. It’s scary thinking of a version of me without those things - they’ve grown into me. Their roots are buried deep within my heart - can I really survive without it?

Healing isn’t linear. We move forward one step and go back two steps. We try with all our might to keep moving forward. Sometimes we get stuck waiting for someone to come rescue us. That’s never going to be the case. No one is coming for you - you’re going to have to rip the roots out of your heart and get up. Pull yourself away from the furniture, become a human again. Stop sitting around and waiting because the time is passing anyways.

Don’t you want to look in the mirror and finally like what you see?

Don’t you want to finally be free from the pain and resentment?

So why can’t you do it? What’s really stopping you besides fear?

I’m at this crossroads between my new life and my old one. I can see the future if I decide to trust myself and that’s scary. I’m scared to fail again. But I’m more afraid of being stuck again. I’m more afraid of never having tried. So, I’ll release the pain. I’ll release the resentment. And maybe one day, I’ll look in the mirror and be shocked at who I see staring back at me.

Thank you to Love Letters to Literature for TWO amazing prompts. Sometimes, a check in is needed to identify exactly what direction you want to head in. This was a very personal essay - avoiding things is something I’m good at (this is not good at all). I hope that this essay shows you that there are others who feel the same as you are out there. Life is messy and healing takes time. Making big changes is scary, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try and do it.

☕ What’s Next for the Cafe

Something new I’m implementing for the Cafe is a look ahead! Each article will now have an idea of what to look forward to in the next TWO essays! I won’t give away the titles ahead of time, just the section you’ll find it under. Once posted, I’ll come back and link it here!

Monday, May 18th: Let’s Give This a Chai

Thursday, May 21st: Every Mug Tells a Story

Thank you for visiting the Cafe today. Let me know in the comments if there’s something you’re avoiding and something you need to release!

Leave a comment

Support the Cafe!

Read Something Else?

This essay has been broken into 2 parts! I did a LOT of research into colors and their effect on our mood so Color Me Shocked will drop on Thursday, May 7th!

Subscribe now

Color

Or, Colour, if you’re English! Do you remember being a kid and asking each other

Why don’t we do that anymore? Why are our lives devoid of color? We’re either leaning into the Beige aesthetic or Millennial Gray. What happened to colors? The bright reds, the navy blues, forest greens, and vibrant yellows? When did we decide to remove color from our wardrobe, our items, our lifestyle? Why is the world so vibrant and full of colors, yet we only focus on the neutrals?

A while ago, Sophia asked “What Colors Are The Days of the Week?” That got me thinking:

🤍 Sunday is white, like fresh linen. Restart of the week, getting ducks in order.

💙 Monday is blue. Cliche, but depending on the month, it changes shades. Winters have a deep navy while summers are a vibrant aqua.

🧡 Tuesday is orange, like a sunrise. Pushing the blue out of the way, the orange sunrise to the real work week gives Tuesday vibes.

💗 Wednesday is strawberry pink frosted donut OR chocolate frosted donut. Yes donut is relevant. It’s the middle of the work week and I need a pick-up!

💚 Thursday is green, like plants. Not a deep forest green or a bright green. Right smack in the middle. Green because we have 1 more day of work, and typically the day weekend plans are made.

❤️ Friday is a red! Vibrant, cherry red to be exact! Fast and fun colors showing the speed at which the day flies by!

💛 Saturday is a yellow! My reasoning is: open windows with sunlight coming through, fresh air filling the cleaned room.

But we don’t ask questions like this anymore. We don’t wonder what colors the months are, what colors make us feel. Why DOES Wednesday make the most sense as a strawberry pink donut? It’s the middle of the week - a pick-me-up if you will!

Why don’t we ask each other our favorite color anymore (Mine is Purple for those wondering). Colors are important in how we view the world - without it, we’d be living like the Giver! In a world made monotonous, to keep us the same. But - that’s what companies want, don’t they?

Companies want us to look and act the same. That’s why colors like Beige and Millennial Gray are pushed - fast fashion and mass production make it so that we all buy and want the same things. These colors are pushed because they’re easier to market. I’m not saying neutrals DON’T have a spot, I’m saying we’re losing our colors.

Colors help us create an identity. It’s part of who we are - our favorite color tells a hidden story about us. Colors all have meanings behind them; it can be a reflection of our mood, our mental state. It changes the way we view things - why a clear blue sky has us feeling hopeful and a dark night sky could have us feeling alone. I’ll explain more of this in Color Me Shocked!

How often do you open your closet and see a sea of black, white, or gray clothes staring back at you? Look around your room - how many items are “neutral” colors? My furniture is all neutral, but my walls are bright orange. My curtains are teal. My rug is pink and green. Every color, no matter vibrant, muted, or neutral, has a role to play. They should each play off each other. Rooms should be filled with life, because that’s what color is. Color is Life.

Spring is known for it’s vibrant arrival. We start the season waiting for the flowers to bloom, watching a sea of colors to appear. It notes the start of change. Gone are the dull (Sorry Winter) blankets of snow. Life starts to wake up, and it’s shown through color. Every color is necessary; emotions and stories are shown through them.

What is Your Favorite Color and Why? Do you have a favorite memory associated with the color? What made you realize it was your favorite color? I want to hear about what made it special to YOU - because color leans into our individuality. Okay - I said the word color a LOT in this essay and I will definitely say it some more in Thursday’s Color Me Shocked! Looking forward to seeing you there. Thank you to Sophia for inspiring this essay, I wouldn’t have thought of the idea without your question!

Leave a comment

Read Something Else!