Hi Cafe! I’m going to talk about timelines today - I’m feeling real fed up with the notion of having to have certain things checked off to be a successful adult so I’m going on a bit of a rant. This may or may not have a part 2 in the future - there are a lot of elements about Timelines I want to discuss!
For now, we’ll call it: Timelines Part 1!
Table of Contents
🕕 So What You’re Not “Accomplished”, What’s the Big Deal?
🕛 Timelines
Timeline: a schedule of planned events, actions (Merriam-Webster, n.d.). Everyone is on a timeline. You start at birth, make your way through life, and then death. Such is the natural order. That middle part though - make your way through life - can mean many different things. One person will go to space while the other will become a doctor. Some will work in cafeterias and others will rule the country. Everyone’s timeline is different so why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to fit the societal standard? Why is the standard the only option for us?
Even our own daily schedules are matched up against each other. The ‘5-9 before my 9-5’ trend should die. That reality only works for some people. I’d love for my workdays to start at 9, unfortunately I’m here at 7:30. Yes, that gives me more time in the afternoon, where I have to rush home then rush to the gym. Then come home exhausted to cook and do chores. Oh, and don’t forget I have to get 8 hours of sleep or else you’re not adulting right? But if I don’t do it right, am I even an adult? If I don’t follow this timeline, does that mean my struggle isn’t real?
🕒 Why Do We Follow Them
Where did this standard even come from? Did you know there’s an actual term for timelines? It’s called the Societal Clock. What does that mean? Basically, it’s the cultural timeline for “important” social milestones. This includes education, employment, marriage, and children. (Ntara, 2026)
So basically - our ancestors set the system up. You had to have an education (whether books or trade), you had to have a job (that came from getting a good education in books or trade), have an active social life to find a partner, who you then have children with to carry onto the next generation.
Not too bad. Except, we don’t really live in those times anymore. Furthering education through traditional routes is becoming harder and harder. Employment is going down thanks to jobs automating them. Marriage - have you SEEN the dating pool? Everyone’s out here to have fun, not settle down. Children have become a “luxury, few can afford”. Cause honestly, we’re being outpriced.
Why should I feel like a failure for not reaching certain goals? Why does my life need to be measured up against an antiquated system. We should learn to adapt and create new “norms”. Because what was once normal is now unattainable.
🕕 So What You’re Not “Accomplished”, What’s the Big Deal?
Except I AM! I may not have followed a traditional timeline, but I’ve got a lot on my trophy shelf too! I did go to college; I do have a job. Maybe not a career - but that’s a different story. And the funny part is - I KNOW I’m not the only one. I’m not the only one upset I’m getting asked
“Oh, when are you getting married?”
“Oh, when are you having kids?”
“Got any career plans?”
I might not be EXACTLY where I want to be in life, but DON’T make me feel like shit because I’m not where YOU want me to be. I will get to where I’m getting, IN MY OWN TIME. I need to make the decisions. I need to be the one in charge, because in truth, this is MY LIFE.
The purpose of this article was to say “Don’t Count the Non-Trads out”. There’s MANY paths to success! You’re not going to look at a Plumber and be ungrateful when your sink is broken! You’re not going to be mad when the Garbage comes around - these jobs are NECESSARY.
You have people who have:
Gone to school their WHOLE lives and maybe they just have a JOB AND THAT’S OKAY!
Who have been in relationships for years and aren’t married yet AND THATS OKAY!
Who have NEVER been interesting in having kids AND THATS OKAY!
And if those ARE things you want? THATS OKAY TOO!
My whole point is - stop making me feel less than because I’m not married and I don’t have kids. I don’t know what my future holds, but the pressure I feel from others because I’m getting closer to 30 isn’t okay. I don’t have an expiration date as a woman. I won’t be yesterday’s news the SECOND I hit 30.
Life is going to continue on. And the Societal Contract needs to adapt to this new generation. We are pushing back the age in which we get married and have kids for good reasons. Our economy isn’t the best, jobs are hard to come by. More and more people are leaving the nest later in life because the system is not working in our favor. We’re having a harder time talking to one another; building relationships with a screen is easier than with another person. Our education has never costed SO much; people are drowning in debt for far longer than they should be.
We should not hold ourselves to standards that can no longer be easily accomplished. Some of them are just not what we want out of life - does that mean we are unaccomplished? If we choose an alternate path, does that make the work we’re doing less important?
It’s time we stop listening for a broken clock. It’s time we start living by our OWN value and worth. Only we know what we want out of our lives. Society will not tell me I am not accomplished because I am not married or have a kid. Timelines are stupid and it’s time we start living life.
☕ What’s Next for the Cafe
Last week of May! A new schedule will be released on Thursday, May 28th!
Thursday, May 28th: May’s Flowers
Thanks for visiting the Cafe! Today’s essay has been on my mind for a while - it nearly ended up in Not Your Average Joe as I have a LOT of research into the Societal Clock concept. It’s an interesting thing - the way we live our lives has kind of been mapped out for centuries. Even though, we as humans, have changed so much throughout history, the few main objectives have stayed the same in marriage, home, kids, career. Perhaps I’ll write more about it in the future. If you liked today’s topic, please leave a comment.
Do YOU think Timelines are Stupid?
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🔖 Read Something Else
⏰ Sources Cited
Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Timeline. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved January 12, 2026, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/timeline
Ntara, C. (2026). Social Clock | Definition, Origin & Impact - lesson | study.com. https://study.com/academy/lesson/the-social-clock-definition-theory.html
Just because we do not hit certain milestones at certain ages or took a different path in life does not mean we should not feel accomplished. Sometimes we need extra time because we feel like we are not ready. We should not be competing with others because someone completed a certain milestone quicker than we did. Success, accomplishments, and achieving milestones are not defined by how fast we complete them, it is defined by the effort we put into achieving our goals.
From personal experience, I took a lot longer to meet certain milestones, but I am still here. I am still thriving. I may have not completed a traditional master's program but either way I still obtained my master's degree. We need to transition from that societal norm and accept that everyone does things differently and goes at their own pace.